The Color Finish

Recently, I had to replace my stove. I have a regular natural gas burning free standing stove, so, I figured, how hard could it be to get a new one. Well, it's not really hard unless you want things pretty much the same as on the old one. Then, my friend, you are in for a shock. Why would anyone move the burners closer together so you can have wasted space around the edge of the stove top? Wouldn't it make more sense to have more space in the middle between the burners so maybe you could put a pot or something on there?

So started my quest to find a new stove. After I figured out that some manufacturers had moved the burners, I came home and measured the distance between the burners on my old stove and then I drew paper circles that were the same size as my most used pots. Armed with my information, I went to several stores. The sales people knew I was not your ordinary customer when I whipped out my tape measure and then proceeded to place my paper "pots" on each burner to see if they would fit.

After stopping at several home improvement stores, I decided to go to the Sears appliance store. They should have a larger selection of stoves that I could look at, so I thought. I walked in and there were quite a few stoves, most of them were electric or ceramic top versions. I found the gas stoves about the same time as a sales woman came over to help me. I told her what I was looking for and she started in with her sales pitch. "Here is one of the new models that has the new hidden element in the oven." I looked at her like she had grown two heads and said, "What do you mean 'hidden element'?". She said, “You know that sort of square shaped metal looking thing that's usually in the bottom of the oven? Well, this one is hidden so you can’t see it.” I stifled a laugh when I said, “Well, that’s because this is a gas oven. Only electric ovens have those elements in them.”

We went from hidden elements to discussing the middle burner/griddle feature. I knew that this particular model had an interchangeable grill and griddle for the oval middle burner. She said I would have to order the griddle from the parts store. I just couldn’t help myself. I suggested she might want to look in the storage drawer at the bottom of the stove to see if maybe the griddle was in there. She humored me while telling me that I would have to order it extra, when, low and behold what did we find. There in the drawer was, yes, you guessed it, the griddle.

Finally, I asked what other colors the stove came in. All of the ones in the stores that are on display these days are stainless steel and I wanted white. She told me that the stove came in stainless steel, black, white and finish. I stopped and looked at her and said, “Finish? What color is finish?” With a completely straight face she said, “You know, that sort of light tan color.” I said, with an equally straight face, “You mean bisque?” That was it, she said, yes, it was bisque.

I decided I had better leave the store before I really couldn’t stifle my laughter any longer and all the way home I kept trying to understand how she could be so stupid. Then it hit me. She was reading the sign with the model number and description that they have over each different stove. This is what it said when talking about the color options: Finish: Stainless Steel, Black, White, Bisque.

So there you go. The next time you want to buy a new major appliance, be sure to ask the salesperson if it comes in the color “finish”. I’ll bet they tell you to wait a minute while they go check.