Life is Not a "Safe Space"

Recently, there were demonstrations on many college campuses by students who were demanding "safe spaces" so they could feel free from anything that might upset them or offend them. This was mainly about silencing people who had a different opinion from these spoiled whining kids.

Then, when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, several universities have had students protesting because they don't want to be graded. They want any grade below a "C" to be dropped and, even better, they don't want their first semester grades to count at all. It causes them stress and anxiety and they can't keep up with their class work because they are out protesting all the social injustices in the world. To quote one of these brilliant people: "I'm paying to have a support network, academically and mentally. I can't be expected to do well in class if I'm depressed and have anxiety. If the school is worsening my anxiety, that's their problem and they need to be held accountable for that." 

I've got news for them. Life is not a safe space. Life is hard and dangerous and filled with people and things that you don't like. Grow up and get over it and thank God that your parents have enough money to send you to a university to get an education. Yes, that's right. The purpose of the university is to educate you, not protect you from anything that might offend you or to give you a support network.. As one brilliant university president said, "This is not a day care." Bravo for at least one who was willing to stand up and say what needed to be said instead of resigning his position like others did!

How did we get to this point?? Well, I'll tell you how. It is because of several generations of people who have abandoned the age old customs and wisdom of teaching their kids responsibility, work ethics, manners, good behavior, honoring their elders, and just pure everyday common courtesy.

Let me give you a few examples of how these kids have grown up to think the world revolves around them and owes them something. How many of you have been in a restaurant, theater, church, meeting, or any other public place where children are allowed to run around as they please, scream and make noise, interrupt the speaker, and generally cause havoc. And, the smiling parents just sit there not calling their children down. They expect everyone around them to just put up with their kid's horrible behavior, sort of like the neighbor who has a barking dog and tells you just to "tune it out". Yes, I have actually been told that!

My brother was telling me of a similar situation where he lives. He said that many times after they go to synagogue, there will be a meal and everyone stays to eat and listen to the rabbi. He said the rabbi will want to expound on a teaching but that there are people there who allow their children to talk out loud, butt in when the rabbi is speaking, scream, throw tantrums and ruin it for everyone.

Here are more examples. How about the parents who think it's OK for their children to run around in grocery stores, step in front of people, block the path of people walking down the aisles, climb on the counters, etc. Recently a restaurant in Houston starting issuing "Rules for Parents" telling the parents what type of behavior was unacceptable. This was a result of one kid being allowed to do what he wanted and he ended up causing $1,200 damage to the murals on the walls by scratching the paint off the walls with a quarter.

How about the "participation trophy" generation? Everyone gets a trophy just for participating in an activity. There are no winners and losers because that might make someone feel bad. What a warped way of looking at things. Of course there will always be winners and losers. There is always going to be someone who gets the job and someone who doesn't. There is always going to be someone who does something or achieves something that another person doesn't. One person makes a discovery to cure cancer – he gets a Nobel prize. He should get the prize and no one should be jealous of him or feel like he doesn't deserve to be recognized for his achievement. We may all be "created equal" but we all have different talents and abilities.

How many times have you sent a gift, invitation, or just an email and you get no response. But, those same people who don't respond get all offended if you don't respond immediately to something they send. They don't understand that communication and courtesy are two way streets. Pretty soon, someone who is never responded to or acknowledged gets tired of trying and stops making the effort.

Being self absorbed is what has led to these college students thinking they need safe spaces from anything that is unpleasant or expecting to not be graded on their performance. These parents are doing a disservice to their children by not teaching them to look outside of themselves. Parents need to make sure their children are loved, but part of loving your child is giving it boundaries and making sure they understand how to treat other people and respecting others and their property. Remember, the Golden Rule about doing unto others. Or how about the Biblical "Love your neighbor". Again, these are common sense things that have been thrown out by self absorbed parents who are now raising equally self absorbed children.

What a rude awakening it will be the day one of these self absorbed children finds out that the world really does NOT revolve around him. It's much harder for an adult to change its behavior than a child who can still be molded into a responsible, productive, and caring member of society.